So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
