Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
