I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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