u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
