but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
