She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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