You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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