haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize