Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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