my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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