Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
