I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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