It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
