The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
