Where is the hickey?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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