I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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