I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
