Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
soo... how was my night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
