Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
