I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize