I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
