let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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