it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
