matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
