Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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