problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
