i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
