her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
How's work?
Spinning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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