I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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