He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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