I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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