week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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