I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize