i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
FUCK WHALES
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
