How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
