She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
