I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
