So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
