I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize