1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
