I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
