I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well I just put wine in my tea
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
