READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
