I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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