Please, let me fuck your mom
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
