sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
