We're facebook friends in real life
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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