Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
