we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
