your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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