I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
