Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
