yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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