Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So many bounce houses so little time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
