first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
