Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I deserve to be covered in dicks
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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