Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
