The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
