i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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