And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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