Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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