You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
