oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
