I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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