now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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