It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
