Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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