people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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