Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
