Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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