I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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