did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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